How to talk with your kids about COVID-19 (coronavirus)

We have all heard “COVID-19" and “coronavirus” flying around and unfortunately, acts of racism and xenophobia are spreading faster than the actual virus in some areas. Because of the increased acts of racism and the constant talk, including some misinformation spread by the media, we understand this may cause an increased sense of fear and anxiety—especially for children.

From KAAN:

It’s incredibly important for parents of all races to talk with their kids about racism and xenophobia related to the COVID-19. Children as young as three are aware of racial differences and many of them have questions about their racial identity. When parents create space for children to talk about racism, it lets them know that the topic of race is something that they can talk about without fear. It also allows parents to provide important information that can counter and dispel racist messages for their kids. When children go back to school, they are likely to encounter these racist messages from their classmates or even their teachers. The more parents are able to have conversations about racism and xenophobia related to COVID-19 with their kids, the more they will understand and the better prepared they will be when and if they are faced with it on their own.

Even though your children may not be talking with you or bringing up the subject of racism and COVID-19, it doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about it, hearing comments from their friends or relatives, experiencing racism themselves, or consuming media which may fuel internalized racism. Therefore, proactively initiating conversations with your children is just as important as reactively responding to their questions or comments. Any age is a good time to start or continue these types of conversations. For children who are very young, it can be good practice for parents to start the conversation!

Here are ten tips (in no particular order) to help parents talk to their kids about racism and COVID-19:

1. Keep it simple and straightforward;

2. Use developmentally appropriate language and examples;

3. Be specific, rather than general (e.g. “It affects a person’s self-esteem and how they see themself.” versus “It’s not nice.”);

4. Let them ask questions, even if the questions make you uncomfortable;

5. When/if kids hear racist rhetoric on the news/radio/social media, parents should address it right away (e.g. “That is not the appropriate name…”)

6. Talk about racism and COVID-19, even if it doesn’t come up in the news;

7. Let them know that racist language and rhetoric is hurtful and not okay in any situation;

8. Give them factual information to dispel racist myths (e.g. “The Coronavirus is a global problem that everyone is responsible for.”);

9. Explain how racism hurts everyone (e.g. “Racist language creates conflict instead of solutions.”);

10. Prepare them for the fact that they might hear racist comments from other kids or adults (e.g. “There are some people out there who are calling the Coronavirus the “Chinese Flu” or other racist names…”)

The following are some great resources on not only how to speak with your children about COVID-19, but also on how to address the upswing in racism we have sadly seen because of this newest virus:

• How to Talk to Your Anxious Child About the Coronavirus: Showing anxiety who is the boss during this time of uncertainty

  • This is a great resource about talking to kids about their fears and anxieties about this new virus in a comic format! It not only talks about the facts, but emphasizes washing of hands (which we all should have been doing long before this virus happened) and stressing this virus can happen to ANYONE—not just someone who looks different from you!

• Talking to Kids About the Coronavirus

  • Don’t be afraid to discuss the coronavirus (COVID-19)

  • Be developmentally appropriate

  • Take cues from your own child

  • Deal with your own anxiety

  • Be reassuring

  • Focus on what you’re doing to stay safe (e.g. wash hands!)

  • Stick to routine

  • Keep talking!

• Speaking Up Against Racism Around the New Coronavirus

• Speak Up At School: How to Respond to Everyday Prejudice, Bias, and Stereotypes

  • Resources 2 & 3 are especially great for those in the classroom, but can be used in everyday life. Resource 3 provides great examples AND can be used AFTER the hype of COVID-19. Discussions about racism and inclusion should not stop after the peak of a virus—this should be something that is addressed without the needed prompt of a viral outbreak.

  • Teachers are in an excellent position to fight the epidemic of misinformation!

• This is how I responded to my daughter’s fears about coronavirus

  • This author discusses a great point—not only to reassure, listen, and talk openly with your child, but limit exposure to media reports! These reports can create increased anxiety in adults, but for children it can be much worse…It makes all of us feel powerless and out of control.

• BrainPOP website—Coronavirus

  • A website created just for kids with facts about the coronavirus (COVID-19)

  • It includes interactive activities and provides the science behind the coronavirus, with links to other viruses (e.g. SARS, Avian Flu, AIDS, etc.)

• SPEAK UP!—Responding to everyday bigotry

We hope you find these resources helpful and please feel free to contact us at anytime, with more questions or concerns!

AdopteeBridge

"Go for it!"--a Bridge to Korea Participant's reflections

I would say one of my favorite parts of the tour was the people that I got to be with on it. I think it’s good to have people who have had some of the same experiences and thoughts that you have had because they might be asking some of the same questions that you may not have had the idea to ask. Being with people like yourself makes you more comfortable and more likely to come out of your shell and talk to the others. I also think that going by yourself can open up different opportunities that may not have been open if you went with your parents. But having your parents there can be helpful because they can offer comfort or a different perspective on the adoption process.

Another one of my favorite parts of the tour is the different activities that they had planned for us. They always had a fun activity planned and kept us moving and seeing different sights. They are well thought out and they are engaging so that the adoptees can have fun but also learn about their birthplace. I think one of my favorite activities that we did was the baseball game. The crowd vibe is so much different than any event in the States because there is a really positive mood in the air and everybody is chanting and having a good time. Everybody there already knew all of the chants and dances and it made for a really good feeling of teamwork. It was really fun trying to learn all of the different chants and dance moves. Another favorite memory was playing sand volleyball on the beach of Busan. Half the experience was finding a ball that we could play with. The second half of the experience was the locals who joined in to play with us. Especially the super tan guy wearing a speedo. Those are definitely memories that I won’t forget.

Lastly is the food. I don’t think I’ve ever ate as much good food as I did there. It was also probably the most adventurous that I’ve been with food before. I think I tried 5 new foods that I once would have said that I would never have ever eaten in my life. They always had good, traditional food arrangements but also free nights where you could go out and get some American food if you were missing home or were feeling daring and wanted to try some of the street food. I strongly recommend trying street food because it can be where you find some of the most delicious food. They have certain foods that you wouldn’t have thought of cooking in that way and they are fairly cheap.

All in all, if you are still on the fence about going on the tour, I say go for it. It’s an opportunity that you won’t get many times in your life and you can make memories that last a lifetime. You can meet some really cool people and make lifelong friendships. You get to experience things that you don’t get the chance to in the States and see things that are unique to Korea. It’s a really fun trip and you also get to spend it with one of the most amazing tour guides, Mr. Kim. If you want to know why he is the world’s best tour guide you’ll just have to go on the trip yourself to find out.

ESWS Language & Culture Program

ESWS's Korean Language and Culture Program partners with Hallym University in Chuncheon, Gangwon Province. 

Adoptees will take extensive Korean language classes, while participating in various field trips and cultural activities. At Hallym University, adoptees will be guided by a Korean student and join international students as they learn about the Korean university experience. They will also have the opportunity to volunteer at some of ESWS's social service programs including Eastern Babies Home with babies who have been placed for adoption and Seodaemun Community Center with senior citizens.

Tuition, accommodations, the majority of activities, some meals, and in-country transportation is covered by the scholarship. The main expense adoptees will need to cover is the round-trip international airfare to/from South Korea. 

Dates of the program are arrival: June 25 or June 26 to departure: July 26 or July 27. 

In order to apply, adoptees must be 18+ and have graduated high school. Adoptees from any Korean adoption agency may apply, though ESWS adoptees and first time applicants will have first priority. 

Here is a testimony from an adoptee who previously participated in the ESWS Language and Culture Program!

The ESWS Language and Culture Program was a wonderful experience for me. I was not only able to connect with Korean adoptees from all over the US, but Australia as well. We participated in various service activities (some adoption-related and some not) which I really enjoyed. The Language and Culture Program at Hallym University in Chuncheon was a great experience as well. I met so many people from all over the world who were interested in learning Korean and about the culture for a wide variety of reasons. I learned so much and made so many unforgettable memories with amazing people. I really made some lifelong connections that I never would have been able to without this program. It gave me a taste of what living in Korea could be like, and I was able to get a different perspective of Korea than I would get being a tourist. I am forever thankful to the ESWS Language and Culture Program for providing me with this incredible opportunity!

Sadly, this is the last year Hallym will be coordinating this program, so don't miss out--contact us, today, to apply!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day~
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To those who struggle on this day, we are thinking of you and support you near and far.
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To our first mothers, birth mothers, biological mothers. Those who gave us life, who gave us our genetics, those we had to say our first goodbyes to...if not for the goodbyes, we would not be where we are today.
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To our foster mothers. Those who selflessly cared and loved us for what may have been a short portion of our lives. If not for the love and care, we would not be where we are today.
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To our adoptive mothers. Those who raised us, taught us morals and values, love and laughter. Who dried our tears through the good times and bad. If not for their morals and values, love and care, we would not be where we are today. 
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Adoption is filled with love and loss, for everyone..

Mother's Day is coming...

In continuation of our Mother's Day-themed posts, Red Thread Broken eloquently writes about the topic of ambiguous loss, which so many adoptees face throughout their lives.

"Though the knowledge of ambiguous loss helps me articulate how I may be feeling, I still am in many ways baffled by the task of honoring and remembering my first family with no memories. I’ve come to realize that just like there is no closure to so many of my lifelong questions, there may be no clear resolution on how to best honor my first family. I can try to retain my original culture, a link that connects us. I can try to speak the words of my mother tongue, so we can communicate if we ever meet."

A Bittersweet Holiday...

Mother's Day brings up a variety of emotions for many adoptees. The following articles are written by adult adoptees and reflect the multitude of emotions several adoptees encounter during holidays such as Mother's Day. This holiday, Father's Day, and birthdays can bring up bittersweet and even painful feelings for many adoptees. 

I Was Adopted & This Is What Celebrating Mother's Day Is Like

I'm Adopted. Mother's Day is incredibly painful for me. 

Do you have any coping tips or strategies to help during holidays like these? If so, share below!

Indian adoptee finds twin birth brother

An Indian-Swedish adoptee recently found her twin birth brother. This was Kiran Gustafsson third visit to India. The first two times, in 2000 and 2005, produced no results for her birth family. After much perseverance, independent searching, and help from local authorities, Kiran was able to find her twin.

About finding her brother, on the fifth day of her stay in Surat, she said, “In the last 33 years of my life, this is the best birthday gift that I got from God. I came to Surat in search of my mother and found my brother just a couple of days before my birthday. I am speechless.”

When The Sunday Express met her on Saturday, after she met her brother again at the hotel, she said, “It was like time had stopped. I was in the seventh heaven. It was like blood in my body was in search of same blood he had. I can say that it was union of blood. We shared our experiences and our life. He inquired about my foster parents. It was unforgettable. We sought blessings of his father too. On Saturday, he came to my hotel and I told him my visa expired on Sunday and I would come back and we both would look for our mother.”

Full article can be found at the following link.

Six Common Issues Faced by Adopted Adolescents

Not all adoptees (especially teens), have questions about their identity or adoption, but many do. The following article are six common questions and topics several adoptees (not just teens, but going into adulthood!) think about, question, and at times, struggle not having any answers.

Click on the following link to read Six Themes for the Adopted Adolescent

Listen...

"Your child needs to know that you are someone who will listen to and validate their race experiences."

Love them enough to have the sometimes-tough conversations.

Love them enough that they know home is a haven, a place to feel safe and loved.

Love them enough to listen to them when they feel they are being treated differently.

Love them enough to advocate for them when they are too young to stand on their own.

Love them enough to teach them how to handle situations where they may feel threatened or unsafe.

Love them enough to talk about race.

"Running Home"

Sahrawi adoptee, Inma Zanoguera, was adopted with her two older siblings by a Spanish family when she was three-years-old. As she learned more about her birth family, heritage, and birthmother's homeland, she learned about the Sahara Marathon. Read more about Zanoguera's story at this link. 

Zanoguera completed the Sahara Marathon with a time of 3:48:11, to finish in first place. As part of her trip, she is staying with Sahrawi refugee families to connect with her birthland. Zanoguera wanted to experience firsthand what kind of life her birth mother led before emigrating to Spain and sadly passing away. “I kind of wanted to sweep all of that under the rug, and of course that works for a while,” Ms. Zanoguera said before the race. “But then you realize that there’s another part of who you are.” (toledoblade.com)

A documentary is currently in the works about Zanoguera, her preparation for the marathon--both physical and mental, and her journey back home. We'll keep you all up-to-date as more news is shared regarding the progress of "Running Home: a Documentary."